Got the tickets, got enough to pay my part of a hotel room, got a car to get there, got an OK for time off from work. But, I still don't have a place to stay for ComicCon. Seriously, none of you could squeeze me in for just two nights?

Sure learned my lesson for next year. Make sure the person you usually room with is actually going.

If any of you sent mail to me at my PO Box and it was returned, send it again. The incompetent assholes at the post office lost my box payment, changed the lock and sent all my mail back. So, after paying for the rent and a fucking lock change fee the PO Box address is working again.

So, pissed right now.

http://rikkisimons.livejournal.com/50641.html?view=1096401#t1096401 Read it. Do it. Love it. That is all.

Just found out I got a new full time job. It's only minimum wage, at least for the first thirty days, so, money will still be tight. But, not as tight. Heck, with some art income I might even have a tiny bit of spending money.

They say the wage goes up quick so, here's hoping. Might be nice to upgrade my computer, have some new books to read, heck, even start paying back my student loans which are just about to start getting nasty.

Anyway, thinking about that is just going to bring me down again so, going to put that aside for now. I really should call them again. Make a note of that. Maybe I can get that deferment after all now that I might be able to scrape together enough to bring it current.

Yeah, so, not out of the financial woods yet. Need to be making another $300 to $500 a month to actually be secure. You know, pay all my bills (more than just minimum payments) and have enough for those unexpected bills that show up when you least expect them like car registration, PO Box renewal, etc.

Jeez, wouldn't that be nice?

Anyway, screw the diet and the food spending thriftiness, I'm going to go celebrate with a nice dinner. Somewhere special like, Taco Bell or Burger King. Maybe Jack in the Box.

Despair, loneliness
Seems I was going to snap
Longing for something

Food to feel better
Had to put it on credit
Giant burrito

Last night, I was very depressed
I'm a little better after a rest
Time for a shower
Work's in an hour
Maybe I'll even get dressed

God damn this fucking, broke-ass state! I want out of CA NOW! Fuck this being poor shit! So sick of Californian bullshit.

If you've never seen it, The Secret of NIMH is free on Hulu now here: http://www.hulu.com/watch/25523/the-secret-of-nimh Personally, I think it's one of the best animated movies and pretty underrated.

It's been years since I'd last seen it and I was still amazed.

I probably should have mentioned it in my last post (since it had art in it) but I've come up with a commission pricing and policy... thing that I think I like. I posted it over on my DA page: http://eddieperkins.deviantart.com/ I'll post it here too.
---
Commission art is available!

Just $30 will get you a one character pencil drawing on, at least, 9 x 11 inch, thick bristol paper. $10 more per additional character in the commission. Drawings can be of any character you want. I do reserve the right to turn down any request that I'm just not comfortable drawing. I don't mind nudity. Basically, don't ask for straight up porn and we'll probably not have any problems.

Drawings often contain ink, marker and / or colored pencil if I get really into the drawing, but no promises. I have been known to do commissions on paper larger than 9 x 11 if the mood hits me, but, again, no promises. In other words, it will be 9 x 11 inches and in pencil for sure, but I often do more (never less) than promised. Random bonuses, I guess. I like to make my commissions special.

Feel free to contact me by comment or email (atomicpanda at gmail.com) and we'll work something out!
---
What I didn't say and should add today it that that's my basic deal. I'll do as much as anyone is willing to pay me to do, artistically speaking, of course. If anyone wants more than a nice pencil drawing we can work something out.

Wish times weren't so tough. I sure could use some commissions. :(

A practice piece from today.

Now kinda thinking I'll just go to ComicCon for just two days. It would save money and it might be easier to find a room if I'm only there a couple nights.

Only other option at this point is to make the nine hour drive in the morning, attend the con all of one day then drive nine hours home. The lack of any sleep in that scenario is worrisome though.

I mentioned in a comment that, well, here, let me quote it:

In case anyone actually takes that seriously, I am kidding. No matter how depressed I've been suicide has never been even remotely considered. I think it's great to be able to experience depression, loneliness, social awkwardness, bone crushing debt... Honestly! Not kidding. I'd prefer to be experiencing better things but experiencing anything is better than the alternative. In fact when I die, a few hundred years from now (I hope), if ever, if they say it was suicide don't buy it.

I mention this because when I made a joke like this before people got all worried.

The more you know *star*

Shortly after I wrote that I was eating a Taco Bell.

I say being alive no matter the situation is awesome and that I'd never, ever want to kill myself and yet, I eat garbage food. I drink too many sodas. Outside of work I get almost no exercise. I'm overweight and out of shape. So, while I say I would never kill myself, the fact is I am killing myself. I'm a serious medical condition waiting to happen.

So, I'm either a lair or something need to change.

On a related morbid thought, I don't want to die due to my own stupid actions. You hear about people nearly or actually killing themselves by doing just dumb ass shit all the time, be it drunk driving, trying to jump their bike onto a the roof of a two story apartment building at 50 mph, defeating safety features on power tools, BASE jumping next to a waterfall without checking wind directions, driving across a flooded low water crossing, parking on train tracks, trying out a homemade bungie cord, heck, not looking both ways before crossing the street.

But, just like above, if I'm not taking care of myself and it kills me that's pretty much death by stupid. So... yeah, another reason to make some changes.

Don't know why I wrote all that. Boredom, most likely. I'm not down or feeling morbid or anything like that.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8061979.stm

Let me get this straight... YouTube, following copyright laws, removes copyrighted music from their site. 4Chan, I guess, upset that it's now a tiny bit harder to get music without paying for it, decides to fight back in the most logical, rational, responsible way. That's right, they fought back by showing porn to children.

Talk about fucking stupid. Who did they think they were going to make look bad, YouTube or themselves? If it's former, they failed. If it's the later, they have succeeded spectacularly. Never really had a problem with 4Chan existing until now.

It's just amazing. On the one hand we have a person going to prison for having explicit drawings of fictional, can't-be-harmed-because-they-don't-exist children and on the other hand we have people showing actual, real children actual real pornography and, other than getting their YouTube accounts closed and some bad press, it's probably all perfectly legal.

This world makes my head hurt.

http://comipress.com/special/miscellaneous/down-the-slippery-slope-the-crime-of-viewing-manga

Dude's getting sent to prison for up to 15 years because of cartoons.

Scary thing, guy had a massive manga and anime collection and out of all of it he was charged with having "more than 150 but less than 300 such images." Images not whole books! Between 150 to 300 panels in his huge collection. Look though your collection. How many panels might be judged this way? How many years would you get? Keep in mind that, as Niel Gaiman points out, books like Lost Girls and the Sandman comics --who here didn't read Sandman?-- can land you in prison according to this. You're even more screwed if you have manga given that even kids comics in Japan will have panels with bare breasts and freaking panty shots god damn everywhere.

Even scarier, the "age" of these fictitious, non-existent, fantasy characters is up to the viewer. Anime and manga so often have characters that, due to their large heads and eyes, look young even though the character is much older. You know the character that isn't a fucking person anyway? Add to this that he probably did have porn and it's against the rules to show pubic hair in Japanese comics... Those of you who have any Japanese nudie drawing squirreled away, how old do you think the characters are? Now ask your self, the important question, how old would they look to right-wing, bible-thumbing hick from Iowa on your jury? Even, how old would said hick say the characters are in order to put some sinner who looks at 'the pornographys' in prison. Oh, think of the children!

Now, I don't know what the drawings this guy had were. I don't know how bad they were. They might be pretty terrible. I don't care. They are drawings. It just blows my mind that some one in America in 2009 can be going to prison for having drawings! You know, prison. That place for people who hurt other, real people.

And, yes, I know not everyone in Iowa is a right-wing, bible-thumbing hick, but you do have your share.

1. Go here and get comics: http://www.slgcomic.com/Serenity-Rose_c_127.html

2. Read comics.

3. Continue the story here: http://www.heartshapedskull.com/2008/03/14/goodbye-crestfallen-page-001/

4. Thank me later.

Trying for a better day today. Not happening so far.

Also, starting to think I won't be going to Comic Con this year due to not having a place to stay. Would be the first I miss since, I think, 1990. I really want to go! Place recharges me. It's my Hogwarts, to be a total dork about it.

Of course, I haven't really contacted very many people yet in my search from a room to share (and pay my part of). It just feels so awkward to email or call people, who are friends, but I only get to see and talk to once or twice a year to ask if they'd mind sharing a room. I'd almost prefer not to go than to impose on them.

Bleh, bringing myself down typing this.

That Opportunity picture? Yeah, not going to happen. There's a sloppy ink version on my DA page but at this point it's been so frustrating that there there is no joy left to be had by working on it any farther. Time would be better spent trying again.

Fuck.

This inking is kicking my ass. Inking in Flash ain't happening. I mean it's great and it makes sense but it's just no good trying to use my 12 year old, steam powered, postage stamp sized Wacom tablet. It's boiler is always getting in the way and it's hard to find an apt with a coal bin.

Yeah, I know a poor craftsman blames his tools. But, c'mon, this thing sucks so much. Granted, I've never got the hang of drawing on a tablet (especially this extra tiny thing) while looking at the computer screen.

If only I could afford a Cintiq. ... I love it. "You can't always get what you want" starts playing as I finish that last sentence. Some one trying to tell me something?

Inking off the lightbox is sucking too. I'd just ink the original but I drew her too big. Her feet are actually on another piece of taped on paper. -_- Guess my only options are do a second set of pencils using the lightbox or scrap it and start over. Both seem equally unpleasant. Plus, the longer I work with the more the flaws are standing out. Yes, I know she too big at the top and too small at the bottom.

Anyway, just wanted to vent. Back to it.

Five years, five years after I drew the girly version of the Spirit Mars rover (http://atomicpanda.com/galimage09.html) I've started on Opportunity or "Oppy" as JPL refers to her on the MarsRover Twitter account they've set up.

Spirit and Opportunity pretty much got their personalities from the two LJ accounts that pretended to be by the two rovers way back when. Neither is still updated. Five years is a dang long time to write a pretend rover journal, especially since the rovers were only supposed to last 90 days. Anyway, if you missed it they were http://opportunitygrrl.livejournal.com/ and http://spiritrover.livejournal.com/

Spirit came across as more, I dunno, angsty (she had a harder time than Opportunity) and Opportunity more perky. So, I dressed her more... I don't know if 'prepy' is the right term but a lot less Hot Topic than Spirit. Also thought I'd throw in a slight nod to Botticelli.

Anyway, think I might ink it in Flash. Been meaning to practice doing that. Or, I dunno. Maybe I'll do it traditional so I have something I can sell. Heck, both?

I've noticed JL is way past it's heyday. Heck of a lot fewer posts from people around here anymore. I know there was MySpace for awhile but that seems pretty burned out. I almost never get any blog update emails from MySpaces I set mine to follow anymore.

I know Twitter is pretty big now. Most people who used to post on LJ post at least one "tweet" a day. Maybe it's Facebook? But, it seems almost as dead as LJ. The majority of it is people posting results to little quizzes like "What 80's movie are you?" Remember the early days here? Yeah, like that.

Could it be that people are moving back to their own sites? I've noticed a lot of professional artists and animator types have Blogger blogs now.

Anyway, it just feels like we're in sort of a transition phase waiting for that one new networking/blog/posting thing. Maybe it'll be Twitter. Maybe it will be scattered blogs with something like Google Reader to read them.

So, yeah, where is everyone?

By the way,
Twitter = Epers (Because some one one is squatting on both Atomicpanda and EddiePerkins. Grrr!)
My Blogger art blog thing = http://atomicpanda.blogspot.com/
I'm on Facebook too, though that's my least favorite of these kind of sites. No, wait, MySpace is the worst. I'm there too but, really don't bother. Probably won't add anyone there since I only log in like once a year. But, if you insist, http://www.myspace.com/artblock

I was giving my creativity problem some contemplation today, about how I'll often try to do anything other than write or draw. This led to thinking about the whole right brain left brain business.

I ran across some interesting bits on the internet when I Google-augmented my train of thought. Factual or not, some thing cropped up, the left brain tends to zone out when some one is doing repetitive tasks. First realization, if this is true, is that I've been using video games to turn off my left brain. WoW is VERY repetitive. I seems I may have just been playing a lot of the time just to get a break from lefty. I know I sure played a lot when I wasn't even enjoying it.

I pulled out a piece of paper and while contemplating the whole repetitive task information and not looking at what I was doing began to doodle. It came very easily. By not allowing myself to see what I was doing I had no problem drawing. And, when I did look at what I'd done I couldn't criticize it. I was even impressed by some of it.

I also read that the right side of the body is wired into the left brain and vise versa. I'd heard this before but it said this even applied to some extent to eyes. And I had a pretty laughable idea. What if I drew while my right eye was covered? What if I didn't let my left brain in on what I was drawing so it couldn't find fault with every line.

Laugh if you want but I tried it. In fact, I've got it covered still as I write this because I don't want to look at what I drew until it's been posted. This is it:



It flowed so easily. I was smiling the whole time! It actually fun! I was enjoying drawing and there was not a single "That's crap" "You drew that wrong" "That's not right" the whole time. I was even trying things I usually try to avoid. It was quick too. I drew this so fast. I was shocked.

Now, this might just be all in my head. It probably is. I can't imagine that covering one eye could really produce results like this. But, whatever the cause the result was awesome. Drawing for fun. Imagine!

It makes me wonder if maybe my whole problem is a dick of a left brain. Maybe it kicks around and beats down my right for... I dunno. To be a big shot? Because it wants to be number one and doesn't like sharing my head? I don't know what it's deal is. Maybe it's trying to protect me by trying to keep me from my feelings and creativity and emotions that so often lead to disappointment. Maybe this is where my whole depression problem comes from.

Or it's all a load of crap. I still don't actually buy it.

Anyway, once this is posted I'll take the cover off and look at the picture with both eyes. If I suddenly see a bunch of glaring problems... well, I don't exactly know what that will mean. I'll let you know.

Edit: the solar panels are screwed up. The fingers are messed up. One boob is too high. The face is to wide. The forehead flattens out too fast as it joins the rest of the head.

Interesting.

Edit again: Still, when I just look at it as a whole, I like it. So, yeah, whatever that means. Think I'll fix the problems and then maybe do a finished version.